Best Use of the Term Dog-Butt… Ever!
By Matt Cordon (kh). Filed in Dallas Cowboys News in Brief |
I really shouldn’t post an entire article here, and usually don’t, but this one is worth it from my own perspective. Great points, top-to-bottom. So I am going to form a Jennifer Floyd Engel fan club for at least a week, after which time I may become ambivalent towards her columns once again. But not this week.
[Insert immature "hah...hah.... She said 'dog-butt'... hah.... hah]
[UPDATE: I didn't post the entire article, for points 6 through 10 were not about the Cowboys dog-butt performance. But the rest is really good.]
In statement game, Cowboys say nothing
IRVING: Jason Witten remarked that Philly played like Monday was its Super Bowl.
So why in the hell didn’t the Cowboys?
“You know, Jen, I don’t know,” he said. “I really thought we were ready.”
Hardly. Playing at Texas Stadium, before a raucous Christmas Day crowd, with the chance to show the world they are legitimate Super Bowl contenders, the Cowboys were “non-competitive.”
That was Coach Parcells’ description of a 23-7 thumping by Philly, not mine. Mark me down for typical.
What is most troubling about Monday’s uninspired, dog-butt, Cowboy performance is how completely not surprising it was. This is who they are and what they do in December.
They do not show up in statement games, and the statements they do make are rarely flattering. They suggest a lack of heart, a lack of guts, a lack of ability, a lack of everything Coach Parcells preaches.
See New Orleans, a thorough dissection in a big game.
See Philly, a study in domination in a gigantenormous game.
“We had something to play for and we went out there and acted like it was just another game,” cornerback Terence Newman said. “I’m embarrassed to lose like that, against a team in our divison, who if we win this game there is no tellling what happens and where we are in the playoffs.”
Where they are is needing help to play a playoff game at Texas Stadium.
Where they could have been is guaranteed a home game and alive for a first-round bye. And what a huge difference that is considering only two teams have won three consecutive road games to reach the Super Bowl.
That is what was riding on Monday’s game.
Philly played like it. The Cowboys did not, which is unacceptable because of how completely typical it is for a team that should be much better.
And while I try to figure out how a team coached by Bill Parcells lacks the big-game bone, check out this special Tuesday edition of The Hate Index.
Nobody asked me but …
1. Newman nailed this defense. Perfectly.
“I think we have more talkers than players, to be blunt about it,” he said. “To go out and get manhandled like that. To be on this defense, I feel really embarrassed.”
He is embarrassed. Owner Jones is ticked.
And can you blame him?
He has dumped dollar upon dollar into this defense. He has first-round pick after first-round pick on defense. He has gone against his beliefs and built around defense.
So watching his Cowboys lose because of a lack of defense had him questioning everybody, including coach Parcells, afterward. He was as mad, and as disappointed, as I’ve seen him since the Dave Campo days.
“I’ve been guilty of a lot of things; not having a lot of parts, underestimating, overestimating. But I don’t think we’re overestimating our talent level on defense at all, not when you look at the legitimacy of what we paid and where we drafted,” a justifiably annoyed Owner Jones said afterward. “So I don’t think we’ve overestimated.”
Pardon my bluntness, Jerry, but you are not getting what you paid for – certainly not in the front seven. What passes for a pass rush in Dallas is downright embarrassing. Except for DeMarcus Ware, there is rarely anybody in the vicinity of the QB, even when they sell out for an all-out blitz.
2. Defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer and his perenial free pass ends now.
Everybody likes Mike. Media especially.
What has grown tiresome is how predictably mediocre his defenses have been. Need a stop on third down? Can’t do it. How about a pass rush? Not here. Stop the run? Not any more. What had been this defense’s strength was gashed on Christmas when the Eagles ran for more than 200 yards.
If this is what drafting all these defensive players and adding a few high-priced free agent defenders buys, then Owner Jones has been ripped off.
So Mike, you’re on the clock.
3. To all of the T.O. apologists who have been hammering my inbox with “Quit picking on him” diatribes, skip ahead to No. 4 because you are not going to like what follows.
T.O. needs to quit talking. Immediately. Because every time he opens his yapper stupidity flies out. His latest is how his lack of involvement early is why the Cowboys lost.
Why, of course, T.O., a few more drops by you earlier and the whole complexity of the game changes.
Insert sarcasm font.
He had another HUGE drop against Philly, watching a pretty big third-and-19 go through his hands. If he catches that, maybe, possibly, things go differently. T.O., of course, had another theory. Involving himself. And more touches.
“Every team I’ve played with gets me the ball early and often,” Owens said. “It’s been that way throughout my career.”
He always finds somebody to point his crooked and permanently disfigured finger at, besides himself.
It was Drew Bledsoe.
Now, it is Tony Sporano and his play calling.
Tony Romo has to realize his turn is coming in the T.O. Dunk Tank sooner rather than later. There were hints on Monday.
So I’ll address the elephant in the room. T.O. has morphed into a full-fledged problem. He has become a weekly drain on this team, with his finger pointing and drops and distractions.
No. Way. Should. He. Be. Back. Next. Year.
4. If T.O. so desperately wants to second guess a play call, how about going after that silly fourth-and-goal call.
No. 1: The Cowboys should have kicked the field goal.
No. 2: If they are going to go for it, they needed to run it up the gut with Marion Barber.
I know, I know, I was there when everybody tossed fullback Oliver Hoyte under the proverbial bus for failing to block who he was supposed to but many mistakes were made in that sequence.
My thought: Do as John Madden suggested and run a play-action pass on second down. The Eagles were clearly guessing Barber. They were right.
5. Blaming QB Tony Romo for what is happening is totally unfair and also typical.
What Romo has brought to this Cowboys team this season is nothing short of unbelievable. It is also completely unexpected. He should be a bonus, like finding $20 in your pocket, added to a team built around defense.
Except, like all young QBs, he has experienced a few struggles. He had another “ish” game Monday.
What is crazy is the Cowboys can’t seem to win when he’s anything less than really good. Their defense is so mediocre they now rely on an undrafted QB, making his ninth career start, to save them from themselves.
When Tom Brady had a down game in his first couple of seasons, New England’s defense bailed water for him.
Ditto for Ben Roethlisberger in Pittsburgh.
What is being asked of Romo is to bail water for this Cowboys overpriced and underperforming defense, which is patently unfair.
