I was unaware until I moved to Texas eleven years ago that the term “Yankee” was derogatory. And I would have never used the term as such, until we had a coach who graduated from Central Connecticut University and a head coach born and raised in New Jersey. So now I’m saying it: no more Yankee head coaches!
Just to be fair, we should remember that prior to those two, we had a coach named Chan Gailey, who was born and raised in Georgia. Since we know how that turned out: no more coaches from Georgia!
And a quick one: Switzer– Arkansas– no chance.
We know that the two greatest Cowboys coaches were born in Texas, so why mess with what we know will work? Okay, so this rules out Jason Garrett because he was born in Pennsylvania. It also rules out Dan Reeves, who was born in Georgia. I’ll stretch this a bit and say the Georgia prohibition also eliminates Norv Turner, who was born in North Carolina.
That leaves two: Wade Phillips (Orange, Texas) and Gary Gibbs (Beaumont, Texas). See how easy this is?
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I remember pretty well the three-year period prior to Bill Parcells’ arrival, which was a period filled with, “We did what?” As in, “We traded two first round picks for Joey Galloway?” Then, “We just drafted Quincy Carter in the second round, when we could have probably waited until the fourth?” Followed with, “We just traded up to get Tony Dixon?” And, of course, “We just hired Bruce Coslet?”
Well, the days of Tuna’s Grand Disappointment are gone, and we are back to the “what in the hell are we doing?” stage. We just hired an offensive coordinator in Jason Garrett, notwithstanding the fact that he has never called a play in his life. I know that a Princeton degree means quite a bit, but in this context? This is from Jean-Jacques Taylor yesterday:
Jerry Jones should know better. This is not the way to conduct a successful coaching search. You would think after five previous searches, Jerry would’ve figured that out.
Guess not.
Who knows whether Jerry will find the coach to the lead the Cowboys to the sixth Super Bowl title in franchise history? Frankly, simply winning a playoff game might be enough to get a lifetime contract given the Cowboys’ recent history.
This isn’t about Jason Garrett or Wade Phillips or Norv Turner or Gary Gibbs. And it won’t be about whomever else Jerry seeks permission to interview.
This is strictly about his process. It is flawed. If this weren’t a family newspaper, the language regarding this process would be stronger. Much stronger.
No one hires the offensive or defensive coordinator before the head coach. And no one hires a coordinator and says if we can’t find anybody better, then we’ll make you the head coach.
That is the dumbest thing ever.
In college, we used the phrase “fecked up.” I think it applies here.
Adam Schien (you know, S-C-H-I-E-N) argued today that a Phillips-Garrett combination could be a winner:
Jerry Jones hired Jason Garrett as the Cowboys’ offensive coordinator before hiring a new head coach. Now it is clear that Bill Parcells’ old job has been usurped of its power.
Heck, we knew this was true when Jones signed Terrell Owens against Bill Parcells’ wishes.
Now, Parcells is gone, the ultimate distraction that is Owens stays, the team still has a vacancy sign hanging over the post for head coach, but there is a new, yet, old face running the offense.
How bout them Cowboys?
It isn’t conventional in terms of the chronological order, but you do have to like the appointment of Garrett as the team’s offensive coordinator. Some will say Garrett is young and hasn’t really been a coach, but he has basically been coaching for the last 15 years as a savvy backup quarterback, including a sustained run with Troy Aikman in Dallas. Anyone who has ever encountered Garrett believes he will be a highly successful coach.
And Jones says Garrett is still a candidate for the head coaching job.
I think under this bizarre circumstance, the best case scenario is to hire Wade Phillips instead.
The Chargers’ defensive coordinator is a wizard on his side of the ball. The San Diego players love him and play hard and brilliantly for him. And Phillips has been a successful head coach, going 48-39 during his stops. Phillips had the Bills headed in the right direction, leading them to a win-loss record that was ten games over .500 in three seasons. If it wasn’t for a meddlesome owner in the Rob Johnson/Doug Flutie quarterback controversy or the Music City Miracle, Phillips could’ve guided the Bills to the Super Bowl.
Phillips would run the same 3-4 defense Parcells ran last year while Garrett would have full autonomy of the offense, mentor Tony Romo, kick Owens in the back side, and learn his craft to ultimately follow Phillips as head coach.
What’s that? Hibernate this blog? You got it.


I can’t believe you label the Parcells ere as a failure. As has been pointed out ad infinitum by countless media figures, bloggers, players, GMs, etc. Parcells has left this team infinitely more talented than when he came. If (and I know it is a big if) Jerry can keep from fecking up the coaching hire(s) then some SOB will be in prime position to make a great run for a few years. Whoever starts here will not be starting over.