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Dirk Nowitzki Is More Beloved Than All of the Cowboys Legends

Forget your Cowboys. Dirk Nowitzki is the most beloved athlete in Dallas.

I previously posted a brief story showing that fans on ESPN had considered Dirk Nowitzki to be more beloved than former Cowboys head coach Tom Landry.

Okay. Younger fans don’t know Tom Landry. He passed away 12 years ago. I get it.

But the poll didn’t end there. Nowitzki then earned more votes than Roger Staubach to make the finals of this competition. The vote between Nowitzki and Landry (51%-49%) was actually closer than the Nowitzki/Staubach vote (57%-43%).

Emmitt Smith edged out Troy Aikman for the other spot in the finals, meaning that Smith was the Cowboys’ last chance to knock off the big German. It didn’t happen, and now Dirk Nowitzki is hailed as the most beloved Dallas athlete in history.

Ahem.

My theories:

1. Most of the 161,622 who participated must have been younger. A 21-year-old was only five years old when the Cowboys last played in a Super Bowl. I doubt that is cemented in his mind the way that Nowitzki’s heroics are. Roger Staubach and Tom Landry represent ancient history.

2. It’s basketball season, so the site had more basketball fans. Test my theory by running this poll in September.

3. I’m old and cantankerous and just can’t accept that a member of the Dallas Mavericks is more beloved than all these Cowboys. (I’m not even sure how this theory got here, but I’ll leave it in anyway).

Peyton Manning as a Cowboy?

(Nice proofreading on my part– it’s Peyton, not Payton as I misspelled it originally — MC)

No, I don’t think that Peyton Manning will become a member of the Cowboys.

The artist at Dave’s Art Locker created what he calls PeyPics, which consist of Manning’s face on the various team logos. Here is his version of the Cowboy Joe logo featuring Manning’s face:

Payton Manning as Cowboy Joe
Peyton Manning as Cowboy Joe

It would have taken me a month to come up with anything close to this. This guy drew 32 of these.

Otherwise, I am not impressed with what I’ve heard about the shape of Manning’s arm, and I don’t think he’s our Super Bowl answer.

Jerry and the Cowboys Commit More Blasphemy

Jerry Jones just can’t shut up. We all know that.

[As in, don’t talk about the playoffs right now, Jerry. Let this team focus on beating the Eagles]

However, since he is going to open his mouth anyway, perhaps he could show a little bit more appreciation for this team’s legacy.

First, he counters a point made by Jimmy Johnson by citing Joe Gibbs.

Last night, the main leaders of his team participated in a montage featuring a quote about winning.

That quote came from Vince Lombardi.

Cowboys fans older than 30 need immediately to place their foreheads into their hands. Let’s say this in unison…

Jerry, you just don’t cite Joe Gibbs. And in the name of all that is Tom Landry, you don’t quote Vince Lombardi.

Let’s go with this one:

I don’t believe in team motivation. I believe in getting a team prepared so it knows it will have the necessary confidence when it steps on a field and be prepared to play a good game.

— Tom Landry, whose teams would have already won this damn division.

That all said, Jerry was pretty funny during the pregame show last night.

Of course, I continue to forget my principal rule that I should never listen to anything Jerry says.

* * *

Jerry Jones Commits Blasphemy

In yesterday’s post, I noted that the Dallas Cowboys Official Weekly from November 9, 1985 listed a series of quotes from Dallas and Washington players. That was, of course, the year that fans at Texas Stadium wished Joe Theismann a happy birthday after a 44-14 Dallas win.

Without question, that was the Cowboys’ greatest rivalry. You saw real animosity.

When you compared teams, they looked nothing like one another. Washington had its Over-the-Hill Gang, the Hogs, the Diesel, the one-back offense. Dallas had its stars, its multiple offense, the flex defense.

The bottom line: Dallas would never mimic Washington to achieve success and vice versa. That was true whether the Washington coach was George Allen, Jack Pardee, or Joe Gibbs.

So today the Dallas Morning News ran a piece about whether Jason Garrett should hire an offensive coordinator. Jimmy Johnson said he thought it would be a good idea.

Remember Jimmy Johnson? Architect of the dynasty? Two Super Bowl titles? Yeah, that guy.

Jerry’s response:

Joe Gibbs is a guy who believes that that head coach needs to be in charge of either the offense or the defense and needs to be the coordinator. It brings you stature; it involves you in the game and gives you more respect with the players.

Uh, Jerry, you just disregarded Jimmy’s advice and cited Joe Gibbs in support of your position. Of the many things I’d rather concern myself with, such as finding my daughter a good bedtime story to read, worrying about whether you understand not to cite Redskins in support of your opinion is not one of those things.

So please learn from this. Thanks.

* * *

This means nothing, really, but if DeMarco Murray could have a 16-game season with the numbers he has put up since taking over for an injured Felix Jones, Murray would have 2,485 yards on only 293 carries. Sounds like the receiving numbers Miles Austin used to put up. At least I think he used to put those numbers up.

* * *

The offensive line, which was supposed to be a work in progress, has been pretty solid this season on paper.

Dallas currently ranks 13th in the league in rushing yards (thanks to the emergence of Murray, of course). But the Cowboys rank higher in sacks allowed (15, tied for seventh) and QB hits (33, also tied for 7th).

In 2010, the Cowboys ranked 16th in rushing yards, 11th in sacks, and 18th in QB hits.

Jerry Liked the Effort vs. the Eagles, and Romo Has Become a Verb

I noted yesterday

Jerry is entitled to say whatever he wants, but there is simply no reason at all to listen to anything coming out of Valley Ranch. Someone try to explain why I’m wrong. You can have my blog if you can do so.

I wrote that before I read this post tonight. The relevant portion:

In fact, what he told 105.3 The Fan FM following the loss was, “I like the way our guys competed.”

Jones did betray some emotion in speaking with reporters, according to the account today on ESPN Dallas–which noted that Jones seemed none too pleased fielding questions about why he wasn’t all that dejected by the loss. Nonetheless, he seemed to want to make the fact that he wasn’t dejected very clear.

“I think we’ll go right back. We just have to do that,” Jones said. “In my life, I’ve stuck my head in the sand and not recognized and dwelled on the situation, because if you do, you’ll become the situation. I just want us to move on past this one.”

Jerry, I think we all know that you’ve stuck your head somewhere. But thankfully, I don’t think I’ll need to give my blog away.

* * *

The only reason I had any interest in San Diego-Kansas City game was to see if Ryan Mathews, Jackie Battle, and Derrick Johnson could help me win in some of my fantasy football leagues (and they did). I felt some sympathy for Charger fans, given how the Cowboys have blown some games this year.

If you missed it, with less than a minute left in the game and the Chargers in field goal range, all Philip Rivers had to do was sit on the ball or complete a simple handoff. Instead, he dropped the snap from center, and San Diego lost the ball. The Chargers eventually lost the game in overtime.

One of the blogs had several dozen comments (as you would expect) right after the fumble. Here were a few of them:

I’ve read about Tebowing, but this was the first time in a while I’ve heard Romo’s name used as a verb.

So way to go, Tony! When does the website go up?

Thanks, Roy Williams, for Giving Us News to Report and Law to Analyze

I saw Lindy’s Sports Pro Football 2011 Preview today and never thought for more than a second about whether to buy it. (I didn’t). That’s sad, given that I bought seven different preview issues last summer.

So an hour after deciding that reading an NFL preview just wasn’t worth it, I discovered that a member of the Cowboys made headlines on Yahoo!. This wasn’t an item about Jerry screwing up negotiations, Dez Bryant acting like a teenager, or more on Tony Romo’s wedding, honeymoon, or whatever he’s doing.

No, this was about Roy Williams suing the woman who turned down his marriage proposal while also refusing to give back his $76,000 ring. Here’s the blurb from Williams’ hometown paper:

Williams has declined to comment for the story, but in an affidavit signed by Williams, he claims he sent $5,000 for school and dental bills, a baseball for Daniels’ brother and — as a surprise — a recorded marriage proposal with the ring through the mail just before Valentine’s Day to Daniels. However, when Daniels declined the proposal, she did not return the ring.

Pathetic for just so many reasons.

Fortunately for Williams, the rule in Texas appears to work in his favor:

A gift to a person to whom the donor is engaged to be married, made in contemplation of marriage, although absolute in form, is conditional; and on breach of the marriage engagement by the donee the property may be recovered by the donor.

McLain v. Gilliam, 389 S.W.2d 131, 132 (Tex. Civ. App.—Eastland 1965, writ ref’d n.r.e.) (yes, I have to cite this case properly, but I won’t explain why).

On the other hand, I do not believe there is a Texas case on point where the donor sent the ring and the engagement proposal via mail only to be turned down. Thus, any lesson learned here is to send the proposal and receive an answer before sending the damn ring. If she accepts and then takes the ring, the law is very clear that she must return the ring if she breaks off the engagement.

And so, this is my Dallas Cowboys news item of the week. I could also submit a link to a story wondering whether the Cowboys will release our friend Roy, but I am not sure why we would spend more of our time pondering over moot points.

The Lockout: Fan Unrest and Bad Blogging Environment

ESPN ran a story today with Roger Goodell admitting that the lockout has affected the NFL’s fan base. A comment:

“Clearly it has had an impact on the fans,” Goodell said as the owners completed their spring meetings. “We see it in various metrics. There’s been a noticeable change, TV ratings were down on the draft roughly 4 million people. NFL.com traffic (is down), we see that.”

Off-season blogging hasn’t ever been much fun (this is my fifth since opening the blog), but it has never been this bad. Some choices for blog topics:

(a) Cowboys’ cheerleaders appear on CMT’s The Singing Bee.

(b) Debating why Tony Romo would invite Jerry Jones to Romo’s wedding.

(c) Yet again, and I mean YET AGAIN, having a debate about what went wrong in 2010 and what the Cowboys need to do to right the ship.

(d) Quoting Jerry about his happiness over the Mavericks’ success.

Sad.

 

Jerry Should Have Made the Cut for the Madden 2012 Cover

ESPN is running a contest for which player should make the cover for Madden 2012. The Cowboys’ lone representative in the 32-man tournament was DeMarcus Ware. He was voted out decisively in a matchup with Michael Vick, as Vick took 76% of the vote.

The two front-runners at this point are Aaron Rodgers and Philip Rivers, though Vick, Matt Ryan, and several others are certainly in the running. We should all be on the edge of our seats waiting for this one.

In other Madden news, the game will now emphasize the seriousness of concussions. A player who suffers a concussion cannot return to the game. Here’s the comment:

“Concussions are such a big thing, it has to be a big thing in the video game,” Madden told The New York Times in a telephone interview. “It starts with young kids — they start in video games. I think the osmosis is if you get a concussion, that’s a serious thing and you shouldn’t play. Or leading with the head that you want to eliminate. We want that message to be strong.”

EA Sports president Peter Moore said last week at the World Congress of Sports in Miami that it was “wrong” when the company’s “Madden” game would allow concussed players to return to the field in the following quarter. That is no longer the case, Moore said Wednesday at the two-day summit in Miami.

Moore says “we have an obligation in our industry” to recognize that brain injuries are one of the biggest on-field issues facing football at all levels right now.

I want to know, though, where the battle for the new collective bargaining agreement will fit into all of this. There are so many mini-game possibilities—the fights over the 18-game schedule; rookie wages; division of revenue in general; pensions; and many, many other exciting topics.

And the right at the forefront of all this fun is our friend Jerry, who ought to be the face and ass of the game, just like he can be sometimes in real life.

 

Allegedly Inside Source: NFL Wants to Adopt Dez Bryant Assertive Discipline Plan

Most current news about the Cowboys has focused on the draft. Other news has discussed the lockout’s impact.

And then there are the matters of Dez Bryant, who is being sued for more than $850,000 by several jewelers. This comes a week after he was threatened with criminal trespass charges over an incident involving how he wore his pants in a Dallas-area mall.

With the lockout in full force, the NFL cannot do anything to discipline Bryant. However, inside sources now say that the league has decided to impose an assertive discipline plan that it first plagiarized from Ms. Ross, a first-grade teacher in the Pocono Mountain School District in Pennsylvania.

The Cowboys are apparently thrilled with what’s being dubbed DEZ ADP, with a team source allegedly stressing that the league hasn’t named a rule after a member of the Cowboys since imposing horse-collar rule in 2006. Even then, the league failed to properly name the rule after former Dallas safety Roy Williams.

DEZ ADP reads as follows:

Rules

1. Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself.

2. Follow instructions the first time given.

3. Keep your shirt and shoes on and your pants pulled up.

4. Raise your hand and wait to be called on.

5. Keep your promises.

6. Treat others with kindness.

Rewards

1. Verbal praise

2. Extra free time

3. Receive a good note

Consequences

1. Verbal warning

2. Thinking chair

3. Loss of recess time

4. Visit to Principal’s Commissioner’s office.

5. Receive swats

An informal investigation has revealed that Bryant has already violated articles 2, 3, 5, and 6 of the above rules, which will elevate his Consequence Level to 4. Sources say that Commissioner Roger Goddell “cherishes the thought” of meting out Consequence Level 5 punishment, which will involve a wooden racketball paddle stolen from Mr. Clark’s seventh-grade P.E. class in 1971.

Jerry Isn’t Exhausting ALL of His Seating Options

The latest news about Jerry breaking the Super Bowl attendance record is an offer to allow fans to stand in the stairwells for $350. Along with the temporary seating and the option to allow fans to watch the game outside, this plot may be enough to push attendance above 105,000.

But Jerry just still isn’t thinking enough outside the box. Other options remain.

For the first option, note that there are two walkways that run along the retractable roof, which will be closed as usual on Sunday. My bet is that those walkways could hold at least 500 a piece, and those fans could even watch the game even though they couldn’t see the video board. Take a look:

That’s at least 150 yards of walkway, and I bet nobody is sitting up there during the game. I’m thinking the scene could look something like this:

The second option seems even more obvious. Jerry, just buy the damn Wal-Mart across the street from the stadium.

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As you can see, it is quite possible to be in the Wal-Mart parking lot and actually be closer to Jerry’s house than you are to Wal-Mart itself. And if you are this close to the stadium itself, then aren’t you close enough to have attended the game?

So you see, Jerry, I just boosted your attendance above 120,000.